15 Jul 2010
by Jamesin Curious, Rants Tags: Rants
I am sometimes a victim of retrogression. During my participation in creative pursuits, I sometimes find that I regress instead of progress. I appreciate the irony in this; the more creative and innovative I try to be, the more I am hindered by the blocks of mediocrity. This leads me to the realization that creativity is something that comes naturally. It is not something that one can force or try to be. I guess what I am trying to say is that a person can’t try to be creative, he just is. Creativity is not a pursuit, but a perpetual state of being; a lifestyle so to speak.
I recently learned that when I am conscious of my creativity, I lose it. The more I think an idea is creative, the more I see that it is in reality quite unoriginal. On the contrary, when I do not mind what I write, but just write, I find that the outcome is something very unique, enlightening and in a way, transcendental. It is out of the ordinary, and transcends everything I could have attempted to be creative.
I find from the experiences of friends and people around me that the analogy could be applied with romantic relationships. The more people try to look for the right person, the more they are at a loss. They hop from one relationship to another, not finding the fulfillment they desire; a sad cycle of broken cisterns.
Since the last time I loved a woman (it’s so awkward phrasing it that way, since it was only once in 19 years), had a bitter ending to that… affair, I’ve always thought that it’s not a matter of finding the right person, but a matter of being the right one. If you are the right person (which ironically is a pursuit. One must try his best to be the right one.), then the complimentary right individual will come, inevitably.
From that experience the concept of being and not trying was reinforced in my mentality. After a break up, one can’t say “by tomorrow I would have forgotten my pain and moved on”. No. Moving on takes time and it happens without one actually realizing it. He would just wake up one day and realize that the searing pain that haunted him for so many nights no longer tormented his being.
This analogy, however, does not apply to every aspect of living. Take for example a pilgrim’s walk with Christ. A believer must try his best to emulate Christ, to be like Him, to live as He would. This is because man’s nature differs from the purity and holiness of the Savior. Man is physical, sinful, in Adam’s image. He cannot simply be; he cannot naturally live like Christ. This reminds of a book my mentor gave me as a gift for my 13th birthday. It was entitled The Pursuit of Holiness, by Jerry Bridges. Bridges basically spoke of how to live a holy life, a life pleasing to the Father, a life like Christ’s. It was a very inspiring piece of literature, but since it is only an instrument to prove a point, I shall leave it as is.
The fact that some things are meant to be lived, and not pursued and that some things are meant to be practiced in order to be lived, keeps me in a contemplative state. I wonder how to maintain balance between the two. The answer is at the tip of my tongue, metaphorically, but I still can’t mold the word I want. I hope that as I continue living and pursuing, I find I can utter the right words.
01 Mar 2010
by Jamesin Curious, QuickPress Tags: Random
I wonder why one of the hardest things for a person to do is recognizing he was wrong and owning up to his mistakes. How come it’s always easy to do something wrong but always difficult to face the consequences? I guess that’s why there are a lot of fatherless babies and wanted criminals.
20 Jan 2010
by Jamesin Curious
Last November, a company invested three million U.S. dollars in Tiger Woods. They asked him to participate in a golf tournament. This stunt multiplied their three million ten times to 31 million. See how bankable Tiger is?
Right after this, Tiger’s life became a mess. He allegedly involved himself in potentially scandalous affairs with four(?) women that soon BECAME scandalous. Two of these alleged affairs looked to have played a role in his, quote now-infamous unquote, recent car crash, and the evidence piled up continually. Later, he posted a statement of apology on his official website:
“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.”
“Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.”
“But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.”
“Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.”
“I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.”
Now, after the news of Tiger’s car accident, mistresses, his wife divorcing him and more news sprouting out about his private life like his alleged sex tape, people have become so curious about the latest Tiger Woods news scoop. Imagine what that might be like for the living legend of golf. All his sponsors even scratched him out of their lists. Tough. The more interesting question though is: WHY DID HE DO ALL THAT?
06 Jan 2010
by Jamesin Curious
I had a girlfriend. I broke up. Don’t ask why. She…mourned. I was apathetic. She was immature. Eventually she got another boyfriend. Ask me if he’s dashing. He’s…rich. A year later(2009) he sent me an SMS telling me to lay off and that he and his girlfriend don’t give a damn about me and I should stop bugging her. I pondered. When did i ever bother her? Them? I didn’t recall. So I responded. I said I couldn’t remember when I bothered either of them. His SMS was out of the blue. I added that when he texts me in English, I expected him to have good grammar. He didn’t. I was frustrated. He kept bugging me with lame comebacks. That had ‘mali mali’ grammar. He actually started an argument with me without enough ammunition in his arsenal. At some point I lost my patience and called him an idiot. I called an idiot an idiot. It was mean. He deserved it. He kept pestering me after. I told him to act his age(he’s about 5 years older than I am). He shut up. Finally. I wasn’t pleased with my self. I was annoyed. I wasted my time on him. But Why did I? I’ll find out soon. In my Sociology Class. Social Structures. Interesting.
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