Mars vs Venus
26 Feb 2010 2 Comments
in Rants
Men and women are totally different creatures. Because of that, there have been so many debates and arguments and jokes about who’s better. But the truth is both men and women have their fair share of endearing and irritating-to-the-point-of-pulling-your-hair-out traits, and both men and women have things they’re better at than the other. We can’t really compare. Nonetheless, it would be fun to take the light side of things and humor ourselves. And for the sake of this article (and since I’m a dude), I’ll stick with ‘men are better than women’.
First of all, men are better than women because we don’t have Tourette’s. Most, if not all women have this syndrome: on their tongues. Seemingly, their tongues twitch the whole day, causing them to say three times more words than the average man. An average woman chalks up about 20,000 words in a day. That’s 13,000 more words than what an average man says. Women also speak more quickly than men, devote more brain activity to chit chat and they actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices. Due to this, the world of women is chaotic. Our world population is 6,602,224,175 and 3,301,112,087 are women. Multiply that to the number of words they say a day and you will arrive at 6,602,224,175 raised to the 13th power words a day. With that much words, chaos is bound to be present.
The next reason is because men are more creative. Heck, we’re so creative we can create art while urinating. Women can never dream of doing that. Men piss standing up and our piss is linear, so it has direction unlike women whose are, well…random. Because of this men can draw Doraemon and relieve themselves at the same time. ART ON THE GO; it’s incredible! To top it off, the world is our urinal. Oh, I mean canvass (haa haa).
Plus, men are better than women because women think too much. Women make trivial stuff into big deals and they dwell on them. Unlike a man who can watch a ball game silently and in peace with his buddy without thinking ‘I wonder if he’s mad at me’, women think and think and think. After, they talk and talk and talk. They assume things and get themselves so worked up and eventually cause trouble. A woman would think ‘my boyfriend is fifteen minutes late. I wonder if he’s cheating on me…Oh, he is cheating on me! I remember seeing him flirt with that cute waitress at McDonald’s. I bet she’s with him right now!’ when in reality her boyfriend is late because he he could not decide between meeting her on time or buying her the dozen red roses she demanded from him. Then she’d tell her girl friends and expect sympathy. Then her girlfriends would tell their other girl friends and it just goes on and on and on. Men don’t just assume stuff about their bros. Like the code said: bros befoe hoes.
Finally my favorite reason. Men are better than women because men are straight forward and women are too complicated. The worst part is that they don’t come with an instruction manual. Instead they drop hints and all that other jargon and expect men to get them. They beat around the bush instead of just saying what’s on their mind. ‘We need to talk (You’re so dead)’, ‘Do you love me? (I’m going to ask you to buy me those fabulous ear rings I saw earlier)’, ‘Am I fat? (Tell me I’m beautiful)’, I’m not upset (DUH. Of course I’m upset you moron)’, ‘I need a new dress (I WANT A NEW DRESS!)’. See what I mean?
(Hi Five dudes!) So ladies, a comeback perhaps? :)
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
2 Comments (+add yours?)
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Apr 01, 2010 @ 12:27:25
hahaha…. love the quote at the end…
Apr 01, 2010 @ 19:45:55
Laughing Out Loud. I do too. Haha